Terror in a British dialect, funded by rich white foreigners to be broadcast and personalised for mass consumption. Fear yourselves, fear your neighbours, fear your loved ones, fear your countrymen, fear your nation. Project it all for the populists. Rue, Britannia; Britannia is ruled by the waves.

Less than 25% of British people voted to leave Europe. Soon, the unmarked vans will pull up at the doorstep of each one, help them pack their bags, and take them to the dinghies so they can put their money where their mouth is and get the fuck out of Europe. Hopefully the UK government won't just order the dinghies be shot down. Hopefully Nigel Farage will be too busy that day projecting his illness on government property. 

But even after the Leave voters have Left, the rich white foreigners will still infect and rot away the British institutions of executive, judiciary, and parliamentary sensibility. They will infect through the airwaves; they will rot through the bandwidth; their disaster stochasm will go viral in every newsagent and cooperative and dashboard. The brain parasites are paid a little too much to just give up on their greatest project: Force Britain's total surrender.

Do the brain parasites know even they will be outbid? Do they know their families will be purchased by their enemies? Does Boris Johnson know his legacy won't even be one of passionate mockery, but of bored understanding? Yes, we know, Mister Johnson. Oh, yes, yes. You were prime minister once. Very good. The whole country, you say? In the palm of your hand? Mmhm! You were another one in a long line of them, for sure. And then hours of silence starving the beast after his camera and phone are taken away from him for the day.

And Arron Banks, does anyone in this world remember him? He's the one who got paid big white foreign money to further the cause of frivolous libel lawsuits. The only thing of worth that can be said for his accomplishments is he became a footnote in the life of Carole Cadwalladr.

Yeah, I can recite the names I've read too. It's not hard. The difference is, I know how to make a good fucking blog. Does Dominic Cummings, I wonder? Or is his future in cybersex?

Batman punches Jacob Rees-Mogg.

Leave Europe. Leave it the fuck alone.

- Jordan Dooling